Sumimasen means both sorry and thank you. Explore the Japanese philosophy of apology and its deep roots in social harmony.
Transcript
The full conversation of each episode, as text. The voices are AI-generated.
Welcome to J-Times! I'm Akira. Today on Japanese Manners Decoded — 'Sorry Not Sorry: Why Japanese Apologize Instead of Saying Thank You.' Kyoko here. This is one of the quirks of Japanese culture that really puzzles people from other countries. Kenzo here. The Japanese tendency to apologize in situations where others would say 'thank you' reveals a fascinating difference in how cultures express consideration. Here's a classic example. Someone holds the door for you. In English, you'd say 'thank you.' In Japanese, you might say 'sumimasen' — which literally means 'I'm sorry.' You're apologizing for the trouble of holding the door. 'Sumimasen' is used far more frequently than 'arigatou' in daily life. It covers sorry, excuse me, and thank you. The underlying feeling is 'I've caused you inconvenience and I'm aware of it.' It's really about empathy. Instead of focusing on your gratitude, you're acknowledging the other person's effort or trouble. It puts their experience first, not yours. When receiving a gift, Japanese people often say 'sumimasen' before 'arigatou.' The nuance is: 'I'm sorry you went through the trouble of getting me something.' It's gratitude expressed through humility. This connects to the broader Japanese value of not wanting to be a burden — 'meiwaku wo kakenai.' Being considerate means being acutely aware of how your actions affect others. There's also 'osore irimasu,' used in formal settings. It literally means 'I am filled with fear' but functions as an extremely polite 'I'm sorry to trouble you' or 'thank you for your kindness.' For foreigners, this can create confusion. You help a Japanese colleague and they apologize. You might think 'did I do something wrong?' But no — they're expressing deep gratitude in the Japanese way. The psychology behind this is what researchers call 'high-context communication.' In Japan, the emotional subtext matters more than the literal words. 'Sumimasen' carries warmth that the English 'sorry' doesn't. It's actually quite beautiful when you think about it. Every expression of gratitude comes with an acknowledgment that someone else made an effort for you. It keeps you humble and aware. In business, this manifests as the constant use of polite apology phrases in emails and meetings. 'Osore irimasu ga...' before making a request. It lubricates social interactions beautifully. Some argue this excessive apologizing reflects a problematic avoidance of assertiveness. But I'd argue it reflects a society that prioritizes collective harmony and mutual consideration. For visitors: when a Japanese person says 'sumimasen' to you, receive it as the gift it is — a sincere expression of awareness and appreciation for your existence in their world. Thanks for listening to J-Times! Sumimasen for taking your time, and catch those Matsuri Coins. See you next time!